Opposition in all things, even THE thing
Opposition in all things, even a happy sex life
I am at the point in my life where I know that anything really worth having requires effort. This idea is the opposite of what media tries to sell. In their world finding a spouse has become a game show, falling in and out of love comes without pain, sexually without limits or fidelity brings happiness. The truth is that the opposite is where happiness really lies.
A fulfilling and meaningful sexuality takes time to create. It is not achieved by testing our partner after partner to find the person who is your perfect sexual match. It is again, just the opposite. President Howard W Hunter taught, “Tenderness and respect–never selfishness–must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s needs and desires.” To know someone that well takes time, shared nonsexual experiences, selfless and patience.
We are offered so many quick fixes that attempt to bypass the needed effort to create a fulfilling life. The most common one is pornography. There are a number of misconceptions that exposure to pornography creates. The State of the Nation Report lists several including:
Exactly how these misconceptions will affect youth who have been exposed to pornography while developing their sexual identity remains to be seen. But we do know that once a couple starts to believe in the lies promised by pornography, marriages fall apart. There is no one reason why couples look for the easy way out in fulfilling their sexual needs, just like there is no easy fix to creating a fulfilling sex life.
There does seem to be a first step, communication. Sean Brotherson in his article Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship of Marriage talks about the importance of communication.
“As couples learn to communicate about sexual intimacy, they must learn to become comfortable with the topic and expressing their feelings and thoughts in specific ways. This is something that does not happen immediately, but over time as a couple trusts each other and learns to talk about a subject that may have been glossed over quickly or left undiscussed previously.”
So, let us start with that simple first step. Open up the lines of communication with our spouses, talk about sexuality, build the needed trust to have specific conversations, say those things you have always wanted to, but have held back from your spouse. Give yourself time and put in the effort it is well worth it.
Cited Work:
Brotherson, S.E. 2003. Fulling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage. Meridian Magazine, www.meridianmagazine.com
Hunter, Howard W. Ensign Nove 1994, 51
The State of the Nation Report: Fractured Families. Decemeber 2006, Appendix 5: Pronogrpahy, sexual infidelity and family breakdown.
For it must needs be, that there is an opposition
in all things. 2 Nephi 2:11
A fulfilling and meaningful sexuality takes time to create. It is not achieved by testing our partner after partner to find the person who is your perfect sexual match. It is again, just the opposite. President Howard W Hunter taught, “Tenderness and respect–never selfishness–must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s needs and desires.” To know someone that well takes time, shared nonsexual experiences, selfless and patience.
We are offered so many quick fixes that attempt to bypass the needed effort to create a fulfilling life. The most common one is pornography. There are a number of misconceptions that exposure to pornography creates. The State of the Nation Report lists several including:
- Diminished trust in intimate partners;
- Abandoning the goal of sexual exclusivity with a partner;
- Perceiving promiscuity as a normal state of interaction;
- Developing cynical attitudes about love;
- Believing superior sexual satisfaction is attainable without having affection for one’s
- partner;
- Believing marriage is sexually confining;
Exactly how these misconceptions will affect youth who have been exposed to pornography while developing their sexual identity remains to be seen. But we do know that once a couple starts to believe in the lies promised by pornography, marriages fall apart. There is no one reason why couples look for the easy way out in fulfilling their sexual needs, just like there is no easy fix to creating a fulfilling sex life.
There does seem to be a first step, communication. Sean Brotherson in his article Fulfilling the Sexual Stewardship of Marriage talks about the importance of communication.
“As couples learn to communicate about sexual intimacy, they must learn to become comfortable with the topic and expressing their feelings and thoughts in specific ways. This is something that does not happen immediately, but over time as a couple trusts each other and learns to talk about a subject that may have been glossed over quickly or left undiscussed previously.”
So, let us start with that simple first step. Open up the lines of communication with our spouses, talk about sexuality, build the needed trust to have specific conversations, say those things you have always wanted to, but have held back from your spouse. Give yourself time and put in the effort it is well worth it.
Cited Work:
Brotherson, S.E. 2003. Fulling the Sexual Stewardship in Marriage. Meridian Magazine, www.meridianmagazine.com
Hunter, Howard W. Ensign Nove 1994, 51
The State of the Nation Report: Fractured Families. Decemeber 2006, Appendix 5: Pronogrpahy, sexual infidelity and family breakdown.
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